Social media has been in an uproar over the last week or two. Jada Pinkett-Smith started her press tour to gear up the world for her memoir, Worthy. The headlines of the blog posts were eye catching to say the least. Causing everyone and their momma to cast their opinions of the Smiths. Since Jada's entanglement with August Alsina, the world has, in my opinion, villainized Jada. Labeling her as the bad guy in their relationship, adamant that she is insistent upon embarrassing Will. In 2021, Will released his own memoir, revealing to the world some of his unsavory actions. But his negatives weren't amplified in the media. Fast forward to present day, and Jada reveals to the world that she and Will have been separated since 2016, causing everyone to run to their calendar to see if her entanglement happened before or after that year. Now if you've been a fan of Jada and Will since the beginning of their relationship, you already know that their marriage is anything but traditional. They've been rumored as swingers, both have been accused of being gay, and don't even mention their relationship with, Sheree, Will's ex-wife. When things fall outside of the realm of what we're used to, it causes us to cast judgement and criticize things that we know absolutely nothing about. Which I feel we've all done as far as they're concerned. After reading both Will and Jada's memoir, it kind of put some things in perspective for me. With me recently finishing Worthy, I wanted to share my takeaways from her book.
Everyone with the last name Smith needs to be in continuous therapy. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Will and Jada both had traumatic childhoods. Will comes from a two parent household that involved domestic violence. Jada's parents were both addicts, with an almost non-existent relationship with her dad. Per their own accounts, both never really healed from those events. Then they added kids to the mix. Both were adamant about not being like their parents, which resulted in them parenting in a very unconventional way. Now in no way shape or form am I saying they didn't do a good job at raising their kids, but you can see that they are different from society's standards of normal. Because of the constant eyes on their family, both Will and Jada have admitted to the pressures of appearing perfect in the public's eye. Both Will and Jada have admitted to attending therapy, so that's why I'm putting emphasis on continuous therapy.
What may be deemed normal for us isn't what's considered normal for the Smiths. Jada tells a story about one Christmas when they went on a family vacation. She tells readers that a getaway for her family isn't just her, her husband, and her kids. Their family vacation consists of them along with forty other people. Not only their parents and siblings, but their teams. They have assistants. They have videographers documenting their family moments. She also mentioned their revolving door of guests staying at their house. Along with the pressures of being the savior to their relatives, as far as financial concerns. A lot of us don't deal with this plethora of issues. Just hearing her talk about these things stressed me out, so I can’t even fathom experiencing them.
Society is harder on Black women. Now I'm not saying because Jada is Black, she should get a pass on anything she's done, but I think when society judges her, they don't add in all the factors. Jada's press tour was evidence of that. She tells the world she and Will are separated, and everyone accused her of embarrassing him. Her simply telling the world about her life opened her up to all kinds of criticism. Will wasn't met with those same opinions. He admitted to having romantic encounters with costars, and I didn't see the same uproar on social media. Will's drive to be a megastar took him away from his family, causing Jada to put her celebrity slightly on hold. Jada also tells readers she battled depression. Her battle with depression paired with grief sent her into a downward spiral. The stigma that Black women must always be strong and silent is exhausting.
There's a little bit of Jada in all of us. I love reading celebrity memoirs, they give us an up close and personal look into their lives, making me feel as if I know them. Bonus points if I can relate to their story. As I listened to Jada talk about growing up, I found there were many similarities between her and I. My parents weren't addicts and I didn't sell drugs, but there were many relatable parts in her story. Being her mother's only child, growing up with a single mother, spending excessive amounts of time with grandparents, daddy issues, and her resilience to be nothing like her parents. As her story went on, I found myself understanding her. The stuff she said and the stuff she didn't say. I got her. I feel if more people took the time to read her story, they would too.
No two marriages are the same. With the access of social media, there are many self-proclaimed experts out there. Casting their opinions on anything that may stray away from the norm. What may be normal and typical in your marriage could very much be taboo in someone else's. When Jada explained her version of events about how she and Will came to be separated and why neither had filed for divorce, it made sense to me. Reading the headlines and the few quotes on social media did nothing to help me understand what two of my favorite celebrities had going on. But like Jada said, when you've been with someone for so long, they aren't just your romantic interest, they are your family. So, it makes sense for them to not file for divorce because deep down inside, they both feel they may find their way back to one another. To an outsider that may sound dumb, but if it makes sense to them, that's all that matters.
I found this read satisfying and enlightening. It sheds light on some of the events you may have saw in the media, but if you're looking for the "tea", this may not be the read for you. Yes, she addresses their separation, her entanglement and even the slap. But her recount isn't messy. It's literally her version of events. How they got to those points and the role she played in them. I admired her honesty. I loved her transparency. Throughout the entire book she took accountability for her role in everything that had transpired. She didn't villainize Will. She spoke of him in the highest regard but made it clear that their partnership is for life.