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All the Times Peach Stole the Show



De'Andrea has a small, but powerful catalog. I'll even go as far as stating she's one of my favorite authors since I've read every book in her catalog. I wouldn't classify her books as urban fiction, more like, relatable fiction. Which is exactly what her latest release, Changes, is. There's drama, there's laughs, and even a bit of romance. Although, every single character in this book was enjoyable, the one that won my heart was Peach. Peach is the main character's, Navi "Nae" Richards, two year old daughter. Baby girl can barely speak English, but that doesn't stop her from serving up punchline after punchline. Keep scrolling to check out all of the times Peach stole the show. BE ADVISED... THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS.


 


 

  1. “'Peach, what you do this time?' 'Pour out juice!' she hiccuped and yawned. 'You forgot stirring up them ants, getting off that potty, and pissing on my floor!' I rattled off."

  2. "The door chimed, and in walked Kendra and a few other people. She rolled her eyes and proceeded towards the coolers. Unwilling to completely expose my ratchetness, I ignored her, but Peach’s eyes bored into her. 'Bish!'”

  3. "My baby was too quiet, so I glanced up. Right on time to catch her sticking an orange in her Minnie Mouse purse. 'Aight na, Syx Jr.! You can’t be doing that! Put it back, and I’ll buy you a bag of Cuties.'"

  4. "Peach smiled wide and shouted, 'Surpies, Dada! Surpies, Bish!'”

  5. “Huh?” She zipped in, wagging my dildo. 'Look, Ma Ma! Piltle!'”

  6. "Peach ventured into the kitchen wearing only a Pull-Up. 'Unta Toot?!' 'Little girl, where is your night gown?!' Toot’s deep laughter rang out of the speaker.'I not want wear that!' 'I guess,' I breathed."

  7. “'She wants a saushie   bistick,' I mocked. 'So we're meeting Meek at Waffle House.'”

  8. “'The wheels on the bus go wound and wound!' she sang, then stared up at me. 'Ma Ma, Bish gone?'”

  9. “'Peach, give the phone to your mama.' 'Fuck you!' 'Mannn…' 'Didn’t I tell you not to say that!' I strained, trying to reach behind me. 'Gimme the phone.'”

  10. “'Dada stweeze Ma Ma. Ma Ma stweeze Dada. Dada say pleeaasee…' she recounted. 'Fuck you!'”

  11. "Peach twisted around and stared, awaiting an answer. 'Yes, she can come.' 'Ma Ma, you beff stankin’!' Pros hollered in laughter. 'Damn, Ms. Nae!'”

  12. “'Baby, you know better!' Peach spanked her doll. 'Ma Ma mad  you!' She cast her eyes on Toot. 'Unta Toot, we go to Wal-Bart! Baby pee pee! Baby need diaper, gress, and cup!' 'You need to find yo baby daddy,' Toot shot. 'You baby dada!' She slung the doll into his lap. 'Hea! I go get me purse!'”

  13. “'Hey, Ma Ma! I at Wal-Bart! I gon’ buy lotta toys!' 'No, you ain’t! You getting diapers, a cup, and-.'     She glared at Toot. 'You wanna turn around and go back to the truck?'      'Nooo… I sorry.'”

  14. “'Baby doll, do you want me to braid the front of your hair like mine?' 'No!' she declined. 'You hurt me head, and I tired.'”

  15. "Peach’s face was scrunched as she bounced like Project Pat and La Chat in the 'Chickenhead' video. Matching her expression and catching her groove, I joined in."

  16. “'Peachy, who taking you bye-bye? Yo mama and who?' 'Pies!' 'Pies?! Plies?! The rapper?! Naw, I saw dreads. Say the name again, baby.' 'Pies, Dada! Mad you! Keep ask my that!' she scolded."

  17. "Peach squinched her eyes. 'Pies mad you. I mad you.' 'Turncoat,' I spat."

  18. "With a downturned pout, Peach leered at her food. 'It nasty!' 'No, it ain’t! Quit being silly!' I admonished. 'I don’t want it!' Emmy tapped her shoulder. 'It good, stister. Eat it. MawMaw gon’ give us a puddie cup. She said that.' 'Ok, Nemmy.'”

  19. “''Ma Ma!' Peach rushed over. 'Look what in me house!' The large green lizard she held pushed out its throat. Terrified, I squatted on my haunches in the chair. 'Baby doll, put that down!' 'No! My lizzy!' 'Peach, what did I say?! That thang is gonna-'     She raised her arm and hurled it. It landed on my tank top and darted over my shoulder. 'Ahhh!' My Chromebook and cell phone crashed to the concrete as I snatched my shirt over my head. My titties were exposed and swinging, but I didn’t give a damn."

  20. "A few moments earlier, Peach had embarrassed the hell out of me by blurting that the cornbread was nasty. I wouldn't go that far, but it had nothing on her mawmaw’s sweet cornbread. That wasn’t the crazy part. Ms. Emma took it as constructive criticism, saying it could’ve used more sugar."

  21. "Whap!  'Ma Ma, wake up!' Peach screeched. Bewildered, I rubbed my stinging cheek. 'The hell wrong with you, girl?!' Mama barged into the room. 'Are y’all tryna wake the dead?' 'Ma Ma say, Ahh, Pies! Please!   Ma Ma pee pee! You know better! That nasty!' 'What?' Peach shoved the covers back and pointed at the wet spot beneath me and what had seeped close to where she slept. 'You do that!'”

  22. "They climbed inside once he moved it onto the grass. Peach called out, 'Wadio!' 'Pros, will you click the switch on that thing?' Once he did, I connected my phone to the battery powered bluetooth speaker that Toot rigged. Peach slid on her rainbow shades and bounced to the clean version of I Need A Hot Girl.”

  23. “'Yeah. Nae Bae been making a lot of new friends. Where she at?' 'Her poo poo!' Actually, I was brushing my teeth and eavesdropping. 'Tell her I miss her, and I love her.'"

  24. “'Me and Peachy. Even she knows that you’re fucked up. She called you ugly earlier.' 'Forget you and your Peachy!' I spat."

  25. “'Cry, cry, cry! Get on me nubs!' Peach’s eyes rolled. 'You not big gul! I go seep MawMaw bed!' I shifted from crying to laughing my ass off. 'Peach, you fed up?!' 'Yes!' 'I’m sorry.' 'I go seep MawMaw!'"

  26. "Peach answered on the first ring, 'Ma Ma, you go bye-bye! I lookie fa you!' 'I know, baby. I had to do-' 'You know better!' She held the phone back to give me the side eye. 'Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.' Noticing my slick back, she frowned. 'You messy up you head! I gon’ whoop you!'”

  27. "I don’t think Peach fully comprehended what was going on, but they were one band, one sound. She rolled her eyes and snaked her neck. 'Let me quit before the littlest one pulls out a draco!' he jested. 'She might be like her mama.'”

  28. “'Hea! You pockiebook!' 'Huh?! Baby, I don’t have a purse to put these wipes in!' 'You pockiebook, MawMaw!' 'Your cat must be out!' I reasoned. 'Chile, it is!'       'Well, she wants you to wipe it.' 'Ohh… thank you, baby.'”

  29. "Horrified, Peach felt the back of her bonnet. 'Gul bussie head! I not want wead, Pies. I go seep.' 'Please hurry!” the boy yel-'  'No wead! Night night! Wuv you!' She burrowed underneath the comforter before he could go on."

  30. "'The reason I’m calling is to apologize and tell you that you right about Peach. She really does soak up everything. You know how she’s usually excited to see me?' I nodded. 'She wasn’t this time, and when I got her, she smacked the shit outta me. She said for saying bad words and making her Ma Ma cry. You know that set Toot off too. I- I just- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come at you like that.'"

  31. “'Peach, get down! You gon’ hurt youself!' Bam! She hit the floor but didn’t cry. 'I alwight. I got cookies. Here, Nemmy.'”

  32. “'Pies, look!' She pointed. 'Dog! I scared!' 'That ain’t a dog. That’s a racoon. That muthafucka big too.' 'Hush you mouf!' she scolded. 'You want me whoop you?! Say that bad wud!' 'No, ma’am. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.'”

  33. “'You wanna go get back in the bed when you finish eating?' he asked. She shook her head no. 'Why not?' 'Ma Ma poo poo. It stankin’.' 'When?' 'You bed.'   'Mann…' His raucous laughter sliced through the night air. 'She must’ve passed gas. That’s why you wanna sleep in Ms. Deena’s bed, huh?' 'Uh-huh! I not likey that! Ma Ma know better!'  He folded over and clutched his abdomen. 'Lil girl, you are a mess! Poor Ms. Nae!'”






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