Uncovered Truths: A Novella is a cute short story by Alexandra Warren that briefly follows the budding relationship of Easton and Kendra, two professionals who are clearly attracted to one another but for various reasons, have difficulty actually making their relationship happen. Well, let me rephrase that. Easton really didn’t have any difficulty; he was very aware of his feelings for Kendra and was willing to risk it all for her, but Kendra conveniently always had a reason of why they just couldn’t make it happen.
Kendra was a recent divorcée, a successful accountant who was tasked with mentoring the handsome and irresistible Easton Allen. It didn’t take long for them to discover their attraction for one another, and Easton had absolutely no shame in his game and consistently pursued her. Although the two had a sexual relationship, because of her recent divorce, Kendra shied away from getting into an actual relationship with Easton. That’s pretty understandable, right? Mmmm…maybe.
When Easton got an opportunity to work at a different company, Kendra all but pushed him into the direction of the other company to avoid having to deal with what was going on between her and Easton.
Two years pass and the two run into each other…y’all know how this goes.
Now, Kendra’s reason for not wanting a relationship with Easton sounds pretty reasonable. She’d just gotten out of a five-year relationship, she falls for her mentee, sounds kinda messy, right? Well, what raised red flags for me was when she said:
Damaged goods? One thing I can say about Easton is that throughout the book, he was very reassuring of Kendra. He expressed his feelings for her often. She never had to guess where his heart was. So why did she feel like she was damaged goods? Why didn’t she feel like she was deserving of him? Could it be that Kendra was suffering from some sort of Imposter Syndrome? I think so.
Imposter Syndrome can be defined as “feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persists despite your education, experience, and accomplishments” (healthline.com, 2022). We often times hear about Imposter Syndrome in professional or educational settings but not really relationships. Although Imposter Syndrome may look different depending on the individual, it can lead to thoughts, feelings, and emotions related to
· Perfectionism in the relationship
· Feeling like you’re not good enough or worthy
· Fear of rejection
Sadly, Kendra displayed most of these symptoms, especially insecurity and not feeling like she’s good enough despite Easton’s reassurance.
And unfortunately, feelings often times lead to behaviors. Negative behaviors associated with Imposter Syndrome include:
· Sabotaging the success of the relationship
· Justifying the end of a relationship
· Not putting effort into the relationship
And as you know, Kendra most definitely sabotaged their relationship in the beginning by pushing Easton away and justifying it by telling herself she was damaged goods and he deserved better.
Relationships are hard. And unfortunately, our past experiences, like Kendra’s, can have a negative impact on how we approach them. If you find yourself having a little bit of Imposter Syndrome (I know I do), here are some things you can do to overcome it.
· Make it a point to affirm yourself. I know we’re taught to be humble, but think of all the things you’ve done right.
· Reframe. If you catch yourself having some negative self-talk, turn it around and tell yourself the truth. You are successful, and you can have a successful relationship
· Be vulnerable with your partner and express some of these feelings you have. Kendra was so lucky. Easton was always willing to talk about how much he cared for her and because of that, they were able to have a happy ending.
Remember, the definition of imposter is someone who pretends. It’s not truth. So don’t own those negative thoughts.