Typically, when choosing what to write for a blog post, I choose one character, or topic, that I feel has the biggest message for people to benefit from. However, after reading this book in particular, I realized that there were so many messages; I couldn’t just pick one. Because I want y’all to read the book, I won’t give any big spoilers, but here are five takeaways from Best You Ever Had by Monica Walters.
1.) Don’t let your comfort zone keep you from a blessing.
In this book, the lead female character, Sky, could be described as somewhat reserved. When she first met Colson, she was attracted to him immediately and although she could see a future with him, her initial response to her growing feelings was to back away because as a twenty-nine-year-old, she had never been with anyone twenty-two years her senior.
People, I don’t care what it is—a relationship, your career, whatever. Don’t let an uncomfortable blessing pass because you’re afraid. The biggest blessings come in unfamiliar packaging. Take the risk and jump!
2.) Don’t jeopardize your well-being for the benefit of others.
Colson, the lead male character, was an ex-drug dealer. His sister, ironically, was addicted to drugs. And when I say addicted, I mean, full-blown addicted. She assaulted her mother twice and instead of moving away, which was Colson’s recommendation, she decided to stay because she felt like her daughter needed her. Again, I won’t spoil the story, but let’s just say she paid for that decision.
As women, we tend to put the needs of others before our own. We’ve gotta stop doing this. It could literally be life or death. Take care of yourself first. Period.
3.) Don’t let anyone take you back to where you came from.
Colson spent some time in prison but then came out and changed his life for the better. When his sister let her addiction negatively impact their mother, he was tempted to risk it all to seek revenge.
Now, listen. I, for one, can admit that I’ve let certain situations take me back to my knuck if you buck era. But that ain’t right. Even though it’s important to always remember where you came from, we have to mindful that we can’t actually go there. It’s just not worth it.
4.) Give your people the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
When Sky first met Colson, she noticed a shift in her relationship with her best friend, as we often do when we’re first getting into a relationship. Sky assumed that her bestie was jealous. In a turn of events, which I won’t mention in detail to refrain from spoiling the story, something happened that explained why her bestie wasn’t acting so bestie-like. Y’all, I hate to say it like this, but it’s true. Everything isn’t about you. If, or when, you notice that someone around you is acting out of character, check on them. Make sure everything is ok before assuming the worst in someone because nine times out of ten, there’s a reason for their behavior. Behavior is always communication.
5.) Seek mental health treatment when you need it.
Colson’s sister may have been one of the antagonists in the book, but my heart went out to her. Yes, she was an addict who didn’t care about anything but getting her next high, but what led her to drugs was pain—which is typically the case.
Y’all, please seek mental health treatment when you need to. If grief, betrayal, stress, or anything else is impacting your daily life, it’s time to get some therapy. You can start here: https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/ or here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Keep your heads up, y’all!