“...I just don’t know what happened with us. We were happy, I would have never thought he was a monster disguising himself as a good guy...”
It’s funny how that happens. But it’s all intentional. Abusers spend time grooming their partners by playing mind games and controlling their thoughts as well as their bodies. They lay low, plot, then attack. William was no different. He and Leslie had been together for three years and had slowly began showing signs of an abuser. Will knew he couldn’t come out the gates swinging with his abuse, because for the most part, Leslie was a smart girl. She was a designer who actually had something going for herself. Yea, he had to gradually manipulate her by slowly isolating herself from her friends, making her feel like she couldn’t go anywhere without him, and by being clingy and possessive.
Ladies (or gents), let’s not get caught up. Public Health studies show that Black and Hispanic couples are two to three times more likely to report partner violence than white couples. In Black couples specifically, alcohol plays a role in this violence. How, though? Do you think it may be because we tend to be attracted to the rough neck? I know I’m guilty. Could it be that we feel special when a guy is clingy? Or that we feel protected when he is just a tad bit too possessive over us? Possibly. I mean, I know I do. For the most part, someone wanting to spend time with you or being protective over you is normal. These characteristics alone, may not be signs of abuse, but along with other signs such as:
• Being threatening
• Constantly accusing you of cheating
• Blaming you for their abuse
• Controlling your money
• Cutting you off from family or friends
• Physically or sexually abusing you
...abuse is more than likely taking place. Knowing the signs is half of the battle. Let’s not mistake abusive behavior for love. It’s not. If you or someone you know has been experiencing partner abuse, but you’re hesitant to seek treatment, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The resources and other assistance received from this hotline are from trained professionals and are completely CONFIDENTIAL, so you don’t have to worry about your business being in the street. The information to access the National Domestic Violence Hotline is below:
Phone Number: 1800-799-7233
Never be ashamed to get the help you need.
Until Next Time,
Stay Hopeful, Heartbreakers