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Faith, Trust...and Death

“Amy was his ride or die. No matter how much she still loved, him, she put her personal feelings aside and was there any time he needed her.”

Amy. As soon as she was introduced, I knew she was gonna be a problem. Why? Because she was too eager. Too available. Too willing to please a man who was already in a relationship. My motto is and will always be “Death to Side chicks”, so I immediately wrote her off...until she died. I had a change of heart when it came to Amy because I can’t even lie, I was (well, am) Amy. It’s hard to admit, but I am. When I commit to someone, I am WITH that person. When that person struggles, they’re either gonna elevate with my help or we’re gonna struggle together. It’s just the way I’m wired. But ladies, we have to do better. We have to stop jeopardizing our lives and sacrificing all of our hard work for men who wouldn’t do the same for us. I mean, look at Trust. He talked a big game but couldn’t even break up with Faith for Amy when Amy left her business at the drop of a dime to help him rob banks. She jeopardized EVERYTHING, including her life. How does that work?

Amy was better and had more to offer than the man she was in love with and it cost her her life. Amy had a business of her own, had a support system within her family and friends, and instead of living up to her potential, she waited on a man who clearly didn’t care enough to let her live her life. I mean, yea, he broke up with her, but he did what men always do—break up with you, but not REALLY break up with you. He kept homegirl on speed dial and hit her up WHEN HE NEEDED HER. And instead of recognizing that she was being used, she played “her part”. Nah, man, she was worth more than that.

We women, well, we BLACK women, might as well be diagnosed with Ride or Die Syndrome because we always feel like it’s our responsibility to raise these men. NEWSFLASH it’s not. They have a mama and her name ain't yours, so don’t be afraid to let that man go if he doesn’t deserve you. Listen to your family and friends when they tell you that homeboy doesn’t deserve you because nine times outta ten, real family doesn’t wanna see you lose everything you worked for, and most importantly, they don’t want you losing your life behind being a ride or die chick. Ain’t nothing worth dying over.

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