When reading a book, a good book, my brain is always going a mile a minute. I highlight so many passages and things I want to unpack. I recently read In So Deep: A Thug Love Story by B. Love and it had my mind racing with so many thoughts. I love when books are relatable, and B. Love understood the assignment with this book. In this story we have Black and Ghost, two brothers that unknowingly fall for two sisters, Chloe and Carli. Along with Wes, Ghost and Black's friend and business associate, and Taryn. This book was filled with drama, messy situations and of course, relationship problems. I'm going to reference 15 scenes from this book and give you my thoughts as I read them. So, if spoilers aren’t your thing, now is definitely the time for you to head out.
"After I played them the recording of me and Diamond's conversation, I played them the recording of me and my mama's call from when I first picked my kids up. Diamond called her talking about she needs to get Layla from me for the weekend because she don't want to her around me and all that bullshit. When I was done playing the recordings, I told them, 'That warrant don't mean shit to me since it was granted off a false police report. These are my kids, this is their home, and I ain't giving them to you, her, or nobody else until Monday morning. Now I advise y'all to get off my property and make sure y'all press charges on her for filing a false police report.'"
Black was in the middle of getting head when the police knocked on his door with a warrant to arrest him for kidnapping. Not only did I know this book was going to be high ghetto, but I also could not believe that he had a baby momma so grimy that she would call the police and report him for kidnapping, knowing it wasn't true. This first chapter definitely set the tone for this book.
"'For what exactly, Michael?' The ice in my voice gave my own self chills, so I wasn't surprised when his face twisted up and his shoulders slumped. "Pursuing me and trying to use me to prove to your family and your circle that you were a straight black man? Forcing me to love you just to cheat on me with the man you swore what your best friend? Do you know how embarrassed I was when that shit hit the fan? And then you had the nerve to put your hands on me...'"
I'm only on page 12 of the book and I was not ready. Chloe is going through a break up with Michael, but not your typical breakup. Not only is Michael a down low brother, but then he has the nerve to be abusive. He's saying he only hit her because she was getting ready to expose him, but something has me thinking that maybe it's more to it. Either way, I was utterly embarrassed for Chloe. I was hoping that this story lifted her spirits after this bomb.
"I lifted my foot and kicked the door until it caved in. The wood split down the middle and it barely hung on the hinges. Cheap ass shit. Stepping over it, I made my way into Ashley's room. By the time I made it in, she was struggling to get clothes on and that clown, Tyler, was hopping out of her window. I could have messed with his car to make sure he wouldn't be able to leave, but Ashley was my main concern right now. He would get his soon enough; I had something special in mind for him. As I watched Ashley scramble to put her clothes on, I tried my hardest to remain calm. Ego was a dangerous thing, and the thought of a woman cheating on me... like I wasn't enough..."
Ghost's main chick, Ashley, is cheating on him with Tyler. Tyler happens to be Carli's boyfriend, who will be introduced in the very next chapter. Ghost cannot fathom a woman cheating on him, but the harsh reality Ashley spits at him was very much relatable. "No, but at least with him I knew there was a chance for him to. He wanted to love me and claim me. He doesn't have children, but he wants to have a family with me. All the things you didn't." Now most of us have been in dead end situationships at least once in our life. What really bothered me with this scene was the fact that Tyler was in a whole relationship, with a baby momma and spitting this to his side chick.
"Her eyes were wide and her lips were full. I groaned softly. She was going to be fun to fuck; I could see it in her eyes. Seemed like Tyler was too busy slanging dick everywhere else to tend to the cinnamon brown beauty he had at home."
Ghost's response to Tyler fucking his girl is to do the same thing in return. He seeks out Carli with the intention of evening the score. Not only did he pursue her, he sent screenshots of Ashley and Tyler's messages to put the nail in the coffin, making sure that she wouldn't have a reason to say no to him. If there were a picture of petty in the dictionary, this fictional character would definitely be next to it.
"'He's asked you to marry him once a year for the past two years and you keep turning him down. I'd throw your emotionally conflicted ass out too.' As much as I didn't want to laugh, I did. It wasn't that I was necessary emotionally conflicted, I just wanted certain things at certain times. David proposing to me didn't faze me. Marriage wasn't anything to get me hype. The thought of spending my life with one person was depressing as fuck. Still, I was loyal and faithful."
In this part of the story, we meet Taryn. She clearly has commitment issues, but so did her ex-boyfriend David, because he was cheating on her. He only proposed to her to keep her from cheating, and when she didn't accept, he put her out. It's so much toxicity in that relationship, I was overwhelmed. Not only did he cheat, but he as in a side relationship. Clearly homeboy didn't want to be married, but that's the kind of games toxic niggas play.
"'That was at the start of our date. Now that we've kicked it a little I gotta be on my best behavior.' Sounded backwards to me, making me want to hear the logic behind his reasoning. I locked the door behind us, then followed him into my guestroom. "Why is that? I would think you would need to be a gentleman in the beginning.' His head shook as he kicked his shoes off and sat on the edge of the bed. 'If I'm a gentleman in the beginning, that'll have you liking me more than you should because of the façade. Truth of the matter is, I'm rude and nasty as fuck.' He pulled his shirt over his head before adding, 'But I'll always treat you with respect, though.'"
In this part of the story Wes and Taryn are about to get to know each other a little more intimately. When I read this passage in the book I was immediately smitten. I love the romantic toxic character in every story.
"For the first time in my life, I had a, 'You brought dick too?' moment. As soon as I asked, I palmed my forehead. I'd done so good tonight, not saying anything goofy or crazy. Now that was out of the window. "I did," Wes confirmed through his chuckle. 'Get on your knees. Now.' My mouth formed an O, but I kept my moan back as I sat up. I crawled to the edge of the bed, then get down. On my knees, I unbuckled his jeans and pushed them down. His dick was pressing against his boxers. I pulled it out, and it was so hard I didn't see how it didn't hurt. Licking my lips in desire, I had to keep myself from swallowing the saliva that had formed at the base of my throat."
This is scene is in the same chapter as the previous mentioned passage. Wes and Taryn are about to get nasty, and when I say nasty, I do mean nasty. This book has some really bomb sex scenes and it has me wondering what kind of research B. Love does to make them so epic. This passage is just the tip of the iceberg. This sex scene is longer and gets nastier.
"Who am I? I know she was talking through her recent heartbreak but that simple question made my breathing hitch. Who was I really? I was a self-made woman who loved what I did. But when the doors closed, who was I? I wish I had the answer my damn self. Now, I was determined to find that answer and live in that truth. I made a silent oath to myself before looking up at Carli. I would never let another man break my heart like Michael did. This time around I was going to be vigilant."
Chloe had a moment like most women. After her breakup she needs to get in touch with her inner self and figure out who she is. This passage made me think of all my past break ups and the process of getting back in touch with myself. This was definitely a scene that resonated with me.
"'I know he's there. Ghost, you got me fired! That's some foul shit. Know that! Fuck you!' She screamed through the phone before she hung up. The second the call dropped I bust out laughing and looked at Black who wasn't as amused as I was. 'Don't have your hoes calling my phone with that foolishness, Zachariah.' 'You got to admit that was funny. That's all she got is a fuck you? I got to say, I'm disappointed. I was looking for more. A threat she was actually going to stand by. And plus, I got her fucking job. I giveth and I taketh away.'"
This passage was pure comedy. Ghost is still with the pettiness! He's still Salty with Ashley and got her fired from her job. But he does have a point... Why should she be able to keep the job that he helped her get?! Cheating ass heifer.
"He looked from David to me before bobbing his head once. "Aight.' His eyes returned to David. 'I told you she mine. You fuck with her knowing she mine and Ima show you why I ain't to be played with.'"
Again... I got a thing for toxic characters. Taryn sees her ex while her and Wes are out. Wes wants Taryn and David to know what it's hitting for. Wes is definitely giving BDE (big dick energy) vibes.
"Exiting the restaurant, I walked down the street with my hand in her hers until we got to the bookstore. I didn't think her smile could get any bigger, but it did as she damn near ran over to the African American Romance section. I trailed behind her as she walked up and down the aisle, touching the covers like they were precious artifacts."
The saying "representation matters" really does matter. I love when characters in books are just as obsessed as I am with books. I wish more authors incorporated our love for books in their storylines.
"'Carli, shut the fuck up and listen,' he shouted through the phone. "That nigga you were fucking last night took pictures of it.' 'What?' I literally felt my heart drip and my stomach knot. 'That's not funny at all Tyler.' My lips trembled as I leaned against the door. 'Why would you think I would even play with you like this?' His voice full of frustration. 'He sent them to my phone. Ashley...' 'That bitch...' I seethed, rolling my eyes. 'I should have known it had something to do with her.' 'Carli...' 'Tyler...' He grew silent. He was searching for words. He had better find them before I hung up on his ass. It was entirely to early for his games. 'Speak up.' 'He sent them to me. To get to me. It worked, but... Ashley got into my phone and posted them all over social media...'"
Ghost is proving himself as the Petty King, but Ashley is coming for his crown. Poor Carli didn't ask for or deserve any of this, but sis was taking a major L. I felt so much sympathy for her in this moment.
"'Bitch!' I shouted trying to get to her but Chloe pushed me back. 'You're the one that was riding my nigga's dick and you had one of your own! With your thot ass. Fuck you.' The more I went back and forth with her the more Chloe frowned her face and shook her head slowly. Ashley opened her mouth to say something else but Chloe shoved her back and started to tag her face like she had been preparing all year to enter the ring. At first it was amusing to watch her beat Ashley's ass, but as she began to drag her across the concrete by her hair and continue to slam Ashley's face with her fist I realized that Chloe was either going to kill her or attempt to."
Carli may have taken an embarrassing L, but Ashley was taking an embarrassing ass whooping. I was low key rooting for Ashley to get her ass beat. What she did to Carli was wrong on so many levels.
"'This is what you wanted right? Me to pull up. Let me go so I can beat your ass!' She grunted, trying her hardest to get out of my hold. Earlier her mouth had really really pissed me off. But I was turned the fuck on seeing that she really pulled up on my ass like it wasn't even an issue. She squirmed, grunted, and called me a slew of bitch ass niggas but the only thing she was doing was writing a check that her ass couldn't cash. If she did cash out she wouldn't be walking straight for a day or two."
Chloe was showing everyone that she was about that life. She pulled up on Black like a real nigga and started swinging. But Black wasn't lying when he said he was turned on, he ended up smashing her to smithereens right in the hallway. But I feel like she did get her point across.
"Once everything was taken care of, I was secured in the stranger's car heading to the hospital. 'I'm really sorry about your car.' 'This can be fixed... death is final. We have to make sure we love while we can. We can't get life back. There isn't any need for you to be sorry. The insurance will handle everything. You just focus on what you need to.'"
Chloe has a car accident after she learns of Isaiah's grandmother passing. After caring for her, she had built a sort of bond with her. Also, her relationship with Isaiah made her feel she needed to be there for him. But never in the history of car accidents have I seen the person that was hit offer the person that hit them a ride. I thought that was so sweet and genuinely noble.
"'I'm for real. Matter of fact, I can show you better than I can tell you.' Zach pulled a black ring box out his pocket and got down on one knee. 'A nigga been raised to read any good thing. Anything that forces you into something or makes you uncomfortable I looked at sideways. Until you. Here I was trying to play games, but you helped me grow in to the man I was supposed to be. That's something I don't ever want to be without. Let me be your forever so I can wake up every day and show you how much you mean to me. Marry me... please?'"
"Baby, thank you. For holding me down, for dealing with me and my bullshit. For loving every extension of me with your whole heart. But most of all, thank you for loving me and seeing my heart. For seeing me. You know I love you, not even a question. The only question I got is will you marry me?"
EVERYBODY got happy endings and I loved to see it. Two proposals in one book! With everything that happened in this book, I'm glad that the main characters were willing and able to work things out. My ambassador of black love did it again!