If you’ve read Beard Gang Chronicles 1-3, you know that those books are filled with hot, sexy, bearded black men, ready and willing to blow somebody's back out. But Noble Shaw… there was something about Noble Shaw that captivated me. I think it may have been his need for control at all times, especially during sex. Noble Shaw was a businessman, all work and no play, even if you were his Monday appointment. Yes. Mr. Shaw had a standing weekly sex appointment, but aside from this, one thing I noticed about him was his sex style. Whether he was banging his weekly appointment or making love to Imani, his style of sex was consistent.
According to Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist, everyone has a specific sex style, and just like the love languages, knowing your sex style can drastically improve your sex life and your romantic relationships by being able to give your partner the sex they truly desire. Vanessa Marin’s sex model includes 11 sex personality types. They are:
The Decompresser- sex is all about stress relief. Similar to a work out at the end of the hard day, these partners use sex as a way to come down from a hard day. Because of this, partners of the decompresser often complain of them not being fully there in the moment.
The Explorer- Experimentation is the name of the game for this personality type. Routine turns them off.
The Fair-Trader- Their main concern is everybody gets theirs.
The Giver- Not truly worried about getting theirs, the giver is more concerned with pleasing their partner.
The Guardian- This partner wants to make sure they feel safe and secure. Many trauma survivors are guardians.
The Passion-Pursuer- The passion pursuer wants sex to be an intense experience and wants to lose themselves in the moment.
The Pleasure Seeker- The Big O. Dassit. Dasall they care about.
The Prioritizer wants to know that their partner actually makes time for sexual intimacy in their relationship regardless of life’s responsibilities.
The Romantic would probably be the opposite of the Pleasure Seeker. The Romantic wants an emotional connection through sex and is all about energy exchange.
The Spiritualist believes that sex serves a higher purpose than a physical exchange. To them, sex is about a spiritual connection and/or procreation.
The Thrill-Seeker is similar to the explorer, but the thrill seeker also enjoys a taboo element. They live for ‘forbidden’ sex acts.
Realistically, we’re all probably a mixture of these, but just like the 5 Love Languages, we’re more than likely dominant in one area, and it’s important to know our sex type (and our partner’s) so that we can give in a way that they’re willing to receive.
What do y’all think Big Daddy Shaw’s sex personality was? I’d say he was a mixture between The Passion-Pursuer and The Explorer because his sex scenes were so intense, not to mention, he was always sexing Imani in places he ain't have no business, including his mother’s house.
Y’all can’t tell me that wasn’t intense...and at mama’s?! WHEW!
So, what are your thoughts on sex personality types? What is yours? Do you think knowing your partner’s can improve your relationship?
To find out more about Licensed Sex Therapist, Vanessa Marin, click the link below.